Life Coach Sterling M Fulton - Dreamers Podcast

Sterling M Fulton Turned Negativity Into Becoming a Life Coach

Sterling M Fulton

Sterling was on a path of negativity and turned her experience into positivity!

Connect with Sterling Fulton

yourspacetothrive.com

facebook.com/yourspacetothrive

linkedin.com/sterlingfulton

twitter.com/yrspacetothrive

Working for over 20 years as a state program developer, program manager, and a grant manager. Sterling M Fulton in her quest to become a life coach was helped with all of her experience. This allowed her to find a new career path when she was about to find herself unemployed and divorced.

Sterling M Fulton worked with helping health educators to promote their ideas in communities. Becoming a life coach when she realized there might be something she could help people with on a personal level.  She works with relationships to find what’s working and amplify that part of the relationship.

Books Mentioned:

Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life

Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships

Episode 28

Transcription

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this is the dreamers podcast where
dreamers share their stories to inspire

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you

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now join host Joe Pardo as he interviews
a dreamer who is living their dreams

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ok

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welcome to the dreamers podcast I’m your
host Joe Pardo and today I’m

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interviewing sterling em fulton who is
living her dream through helping others

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thrive

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welcome to show sterling hi Joe it’s
nice to be here

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oh thank you it’s great to have you here
why don’t we get started by giving the

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audience some background about yourself

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well don’t my journey really started
about three years ago i find i found

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myself in this situation in which I was
facing divorce and also job loss and

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everything coincided at the same time
and it was really a very scary time for

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me

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um so I was looking for something that
would open the door for me to build the

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life that I wanted to create the future
and I wasn’t really finding it

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I wasn’t finding I was fighting a lot of
things that would help me address things

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in the past maybe to help me to look at
where I came from but not necessarily to

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help me engage in future thinking to
help me to create something that was

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meaningful for me in the future and so I
was looking all over for this I just

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couldn’t find it in the way in which I
wanted it so Joe you know what i did i

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created and that’s my business your
space to thrive

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I help people to build their life from
the inside out instead of the outside in

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wow that’s wow that’s wonderful that
you’re able to turn something negative

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and turn it into something really
positive and not just for yourself but

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for others what would you say inspires
you

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well what really inspires me is you know
people when they have breakthroughs they

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give you that certain look that on that
wow I didn’t know that look

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and to me that’s gold and watching
people find themselves are watching

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people to really discover something
about themselves that they just didn’t

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know for me I think that’s probably the
most inspiration then I add that I could

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ask for i mean it just it makes my day

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so how did your dream come about I mean
you mentioned that you were

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to go through a divorce and all this
negativity was was invading your life

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and then all of a sudden it happen for
you and you were able to turn it into

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something positive how did that come
about when you know it’s kind of funny

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I’ve been working i’m at the time I was
a professional with over 20 years of

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program management program development
and grant management experience behind

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me I mean I’ve I worked manage a
statewide programs i mean i’ve worked in

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all various sectors of helping people
who were health educators to help them

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to take their ideas and promote those
ideas within their community so I was

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trying to figure out like i said ok so
I’m able to help people who are working

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on a statewide level to look at their
ideas and to make them into something

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concrete and substantive I can help
people do that

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so one morning you know i woke up and i
said ‘what wait a minute you know maybe

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there’s something like this you know for
that you can do on a personal level and

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I was thinking I said you know

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wait a minute I’m not seeing any of this
so when I decided to do is to take all

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of that experience I did a lot of
research on what works with

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relationships not necessarily what’s
wrong with relationships but works and

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I’m i created a six-step system on that
is makes up the foundation of this

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business your space to throw it it just
it works I beta tested it I do have a

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public health background so I am kind of
a data beak and you know so i used all

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of that it and i found out that not only
did it work

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it worked beautifully in terms of
helping people to really get clear on

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what it is that they want for their
lives how that impacts others and I and

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I think that’s one of the things that I
do kind of want to talk about i have

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three things that I want to kind of as
we go through this that I want to talk

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about that i think would actually be a
benefit to the audience who’s listening

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I kind of give them a little bit of the
personal of sterling come touch as we go

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through but everything just kind of came
together beautifully

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you know the experience that I had the
watching others kind of unfolded to

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thrive in their life and so I just used
it to set this foundation

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Jen of your space to plan which is which
has been marvelous and helping others to

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live their dream so I was your dream
received by your family and your friends

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when you’re like hey things are going
wrong

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I’m gonna turn into something positive
were they helpful or with a negative

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towards it

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you know it’s funny at first my family
was not very happy about you know some

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of the choices that I made they were not
happy about that and my family is pretty

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conservative and divorce just wasn’t
something that happened in my family and

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so as a result of that you know they
they were not all that happy with some

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of those choices but eventually they
came around and it was really important

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to me as I went through this process
that I create the type of relationship

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with my ex-husband that was positive and
although i was ending the marriage I was

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not ending the family and to me that was
something that was incredibly important

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we have two grown children and it was
something that I never wanted my

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children to be in a position where they
had to choose they did not ask for the

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divorce

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they did not ask to be in this situation
so I wanted their experience to be

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something that at least years I knew it
was going to be difficult for them but

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at least years down the road I didn’t
want them to you know bury their heads

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oh my god mom and dad are in the same
room I can’t deal with that to me that

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would have been that was horrible and I
knew that my family loved my ex-husband

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I didn’t want to break that either
because that’s not fair to them and it’s

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not fair to my ex-husband so it was
eventually you know they got over it

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uh-huh they got over and they are very
supportive of what I’m doing now

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extremely supportive of what I’m doing
now and I was blessed to have an amazing

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group of friends who helped me think
through a lot of this they shared with

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me initially a book that called
spiritual divorce it’s by debbie Ford

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and i read that book and get I give that
book now away to people who are

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undergoing the process because taking a
negative situation and turning it into

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something positive

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it is a possibility so you know I’m i
consider myself very fortunate in the

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fact that $PERCENT of the people that
are surrounding me are

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positive and uplifting people i call it
in my coaching I call it access to your

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inner sanctum

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I’m just very positive that the people
who do have access to you know my heart

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into my inner sanctum are people that
are uplifting and people that will help

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build you up not tear you down

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so what steps did you take to get
started as i mentioned before i do have

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a background in public health

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so one of the first things that i did
was i use my own process my own six-step

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process to looking at what i wanted to
create or the outcomes of what it is

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that i wanted to create after i use that
I also interviewed a number of people i

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did beta testing and when I found after
doing all of that when I got the

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information back from the work that I
initially put out there i was able to

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refine the product that i now use and
that process took a probably about six

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months so again that was the process of
of interviewing people of doing beta

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testing with small groups and
individuals taking the feedback using

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that feedback to go back and to do
refinements in the process doing all of

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that it helped to set the foundation of
what it was that I’m what it was that

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I’m creating that i have created now and
what i’m using now is this process to

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help others to achieve their dreams

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so are there any roadblocks along the
way probably i hate to say it but

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sometimes you know in life we can be our
own biggest obstacle and one of the road

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blocks that I found that I was doing is
trying to go and it all alone

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you know especially in starting my own
business trying to do this without help

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from people who have been there before
so the first couple of months I was

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trying to do a number of things by
myself and I quickly quickly quickly

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quickly found out that was not a good
idea and the course correction and so

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you know i surrounded myself with people
who travel the road before and it’s made

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a lot easier so making sure that the
people that again you know have access

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to you know my heart are people who are
positive and bill

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some people who build up that’s just not
in in terms of like personal

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relationships but also in terms of
business relationships as well and then

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to make sure that I do the same for them
sometimes you know trying to make sure

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it’s not a one-way street you know to to
return the blessings to others so I mean

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you kind of answered my question about
how you overcame them is there anything

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you’d like to add to that though

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yeah one of the things i did want to
talk about is that one of the processes

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that sets the foundation of what i what
i do when i try to help my clients is to

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see is there at the impact of their
actions what that impact has on the

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other person who’s receiving it
receiving that what that outcome looks

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like for them kind of taking an
empathetic lens on what they do and I

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think by using that empathetic lens it’s
a hard thing to do especially kind of

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when you’re in the mix of of doing
something it’s by not doing that one

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little thing taking the impact that your
actions have on another person into

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consideration it really causes a lot of
pain and heartache and relationships

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that lack of empathy sometimes is really
beneath the conflicts that exist in our

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in our day-to-day experiences that we
have and by using that in pathetic lens

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i mean one we increase connections we
increase the comfort that we feel with

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people we increase you know he took the
assurance of the trust levels that we

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feel with people and you know i’ll give
you a good example about what i mean and

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i’m sure maybe I’m hoping that you can
relate to this but if you’re with your

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significant other and your significant
other want you to take out the garbage

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and you’ve had a hard hard long day and
you just didn’t take out the garbage

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well there could be an argument that
ensues and you’re like why are we

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arguing over taking out the garbage

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well often the argument isn’t on the the
fact about taking out the garbage the

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argument is about you know something
much deeper which could be trust or it

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could be an issue of you know maybe
feeling a lack of support or something

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like that but you’re never able to get
to that deeper core issue because the

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the the focuses on the impact of the
impact of the actions towards

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that person you know who didn’t get it
done I mean look what you’re doing to me

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you didn’t take out the garbage like ask
instead of asking that underlying

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message of hey wait a minute let’s step
back and look at their experience and

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maybe it could be something that’s
deeper that’s happening and addressing

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things for that level so you know that’s
one of the key things that I do talk

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about with my clients because I think
living life through that perspective

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changes can actually change
relationships and from something that

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could be conflict driven to something
that could actually flourish and to be

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supportive of you know in the long run
and it all comes back to communication

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yes talking when things bother you they
need to be talked about because they’re

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not talk about it will come out like you
said over stupid things that should just

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be done anyway because they’re the right
thing to do like taking out the trash

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well you know and it’s act and not being
afraid of being vulnerable not being

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able to afraid to really discuss the
deeper feelings of around something

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instead of just uh discussing the
opinion around something more removed

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level than that but really kind of
getting in there and talking about the

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underlining driving feelings that we all
experience you know the fears that we

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have or discomfort that we have being
really open and willing to share those

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those feelings with another person and
asking for support when we need it you

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know which is not taught to do these
things and you know I mean lately

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there’s been a lot of discussions about
it like brené Brown has has talked

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about it quite a bit in her books
there’s another dr sue johnson has

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talked about it in another a lot of her
books like love sense which is one of

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her books that just got released but
these people they’ve they’ve been

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talking about vulnerability and opening
up

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that’s one of the key factors in helping
relationships become something that

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could be like I said conflict vision
conflict driven to something that can

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help drive in and to be actually a place
in which you find respite in another

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person instead of your kind of running
away from it so its up its possible

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ability to do

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with another person it takes practice
but it also takes a willingness to kind

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of be in touch with who you are a trip
or so has there been any part of your

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dream that haven’t quite worked out i’m
just starting

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that’s really kind of hard for me to
answer at this point things are going

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[00:14:05],900 –> [00:14:11],329
slower than I’d like but it’s catching
on and doors are opening and it’s the

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[00:14:11],330 –> [00:14:15],980
journey has been wonderful wonderful
actually I’ve got a long-term vision of

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[00:14:15],980 –> [00:14:19],970
my business not just the short term
vision and I’m going through what most

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[00:14:19],970 –> [00:14:24],650
small businesses go through in the
beginning so no i don’t i would say one

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[00:14:24],650 –> [00:14:28],850
interesting thing is that i have and i
encourage others to look at life this

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[00:14:28],850 –> [00:14:33],260
way its kind of when you hit those
roadblocks and challenges is to see the

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[00:14:33],260 –> [00:14:37],760
good in them and learn from them and
then when you get over them you know use

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[00:14:37],760 –> [00:14:42],439
those lessons to set the foundation for
the next steps that you’re going to take

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[00:14:42],440 –> [00:14:47],630
so I do try to live my life from that
level and so don’t typically see some of

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[00:14:47],630 –> [00:14:52],70
the mistakes that I’ve made as a bad
thing necessarily because sometimes it’s

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[00:14:52],70 –> [00:14:55],820
been the best thing that could
potentially ever happened to me you know

200
[00:14:55],820 –> [00:14:57],320
be careful what you wish for

201
[00:14:57],320 –> [00:15:01],760
I thought your bike so well there’s
always a lesson to be learned

202
[00:15:01],760 –> [00:15:06],230
yeah yes absolutely he so if you were
stranded on a deserted on with your

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[00:15:06],230 –> [00:15:09],320
family what three things would you want
to have with you

204
[00:15:09],320 –> [00:15:13],400
Oh what three things well let’s see

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[00:15:13],400 –> [00:15:17],900
oh the first thing i would love to have
is my kindle with all the current books

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[00:15:17],900 –> [00:15:23],300
i have on it and like an electricity
supply so I don’t perpetual battery

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[00:15:23],300 –> [00:15:26],780
that’s perpetual battery exactly exactly

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[00:15:26],780 –> [00:15:32],60
the next thing that I wanna head is the
supply of paints and craft supplies i’m

209
[00:15:32],60 –> [00:15:37],40
a kind of crafting paint your kind of
person and my dog

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[00:15:37],760 –> [00:15:43],970
so yeah those three things of my kindle
so I could read paint and craft supplies

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[00:15:43],970 –> [00:15:47],870
so i could create things and along with
my family you don’t get my family to

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[00:15:47],870 –> [00:15:55],550
create things with me and then my dog
because you know she’s kinda cool you

213
[00:15:55],550 –> [00:15:57],500
know I don’t think of it as a thing

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[00:15:57],500 –> [00:16:01],400
well yeah I mean I would count that as
part of your family if you wanted to if

215
[00:16:01],400 –> [00:16:03],240
you have something else in common

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[00:16:03],240 –> [00:16:12],89
there was something that I’ve always
kind of wanted why I think it’s

217
[00:16:12],89 –> [00:16:15],870
something I’ve always wanted to do and
if i’m stranded on an island i have lots

218
[00:16:15],870 –> [00:16:20],160
of time to learn is I think I take my
guitar i bought a guitar and it’s at

219
[00:16:20],160 –> [00:16:23],760
home in the corner and I haven’t started
guitar lessons so i think i would take

220
[00:16:23],760 –> [00:16:28],860
that you know that we give me something
new to learn that be exciting you know

221
[00:16:28],860 –> [00:16:34],830
so what are your dreams for the future
look like oh my gosh oh my future is

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[00:16:34],830 –> [00:16:40],560
just bright and blissful you know right
now my dreams for the future looks like

223
[00:16:40],560 –> [00:16:44],760
this will be a thriving business I it’s
not a business is just going to stay

224
[00:16:44],760 –> [00:16:49],620
with me alone on the way of structuring
the business now I want to expand it so

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[00:16:49],620 –> [00:16:53],160
that i can bring others on board to
participate within you know in the

226
[00:16:53],160 –> [00:16:57],240
process because i think it you know like
i said i know it works and I’d love to

227
[00:16:57],240 –> [00:17:03],540
kind of get out to share with as many
people as possible can i am looking for

228
[00:17:03],540 –> [00:17:10],199
enhanced relationships my friends my
family just I mean it’s just an amazing

229
[00:17:10],199 –> [00:17:14],429
amazing bright future islands and
clearly see that is there any last

230
[00:17:14],429 –> [00:17:17],880
thoughts you’d like to share with the
audience before we go one last thought

231
[00:17:17],880 –> [00:17:22],260
that I’d like to share with the audience
is just to ask them to make sure is when

232
[00:17:22],260 –> [00:17:27],689
they are doing things that they learn to
identify with their core values are or

233
[00:17:27],689 –> [00:17:32],400
what’s really important to them and then
once they identify with those core

234
[00:17:32],400 –> [00:17:37],140
values are making sure that they make
decisions from each of those core values

235
[00:17:37],140 –> [00:17:41],820
are because it’s so important because
what happens often is sometimes when we

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[00:17:41],820 –> [00:17:47],70
make decisions about things we do so
reactionary and when we do that

237
[00:17:47],70 –> [00:17:51],659
sometimes they don’t align with who we
are you know as individuals and i’ll

238
[00:17:51],660 –> [00:17:55],770
give you a perfect example of that I’m
not to pick on attorneys but attorneys

239
[00:17:55],770 –> [00:18:00],540
are kind of easy to pick on me a double
star joke but I’m you know if you’re an

240
[00:18:00],540 –> [00:18:04],559
attorney and one of your core values
family spending lots of time with your

241
[00:18:04],559 –> [00:18:05],129
family

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[00:18:05],130 –> [00:18:08],940
one of the things that you don’t want to
do is to join a firm in which it’s

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[00:18:08],940 –> [00:18:12],570
expected that you work eighty to a
hundred hours a week you know doing

244
[00:18:12],570 –> [00:18:13],559
billable hours

245
[00:18:13],559 –> [00:18:16],168
you don’t want to do that especially
like I said

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[00:18:16],169 –> [00:18:20],279
if your core values family it’s going to
take you away from your family and it’s

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[00:18:20],279 –> [00:18:24],90
gonna eventually cause heartache and
conflict you know whether or not it

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[00:18:24],90 –> [00:18:28],918
causes this harmony within your family
life itself you know I don’t know that

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[00:18:28],919 –> [00:18:32],669
but it could potentially cause
disharmony within yourself you know when

250
[00:18:32],669 –> [00:18:37],499
that happens you’re going to do things
to try to heal that disharmony which

251
[00:18:37],499 –> [00:18:41],519
often turns out to be kind of negative i
mean some negative ways that we heal you

252
[00:18:41],519 –> [00:18:45],869
know we try to heal ourselves but a lot
of this can be avoided if we make

253
[00:18:45],869 –> [00:18:51],899
decisions that come from our core values
so if we know what our core values are

254
[00:18:51],899 –> [00:18:57],418
if we make decisions based upon those
core values and we hold fast to those i

255
[00:18:57],419 –> [00:19:01],379
think those those things and we also
teach our children to do that as well I

256
[00:19:01],379 –> [00:19:06],629
just think those it’s anything it’s an
invaluable thing to do and on my website

257
[00:19:06],629 –> [00:19:17],189
which is www.hyken.com i have up a core
values like lesson with your listeners

258
[00:19:17],190 –> [00:19:21],419
can do they can just go in in an access
that core values lesson

259
[00:19:21],419 –> [00:19:26],759
awesome i would like to try that out
myself to sue the sea where I’ll and so

260
[00:19:26],759 –> [00:19:30],659
is there any other facebook or other
websites you’d like the plug

261
[00:19:30],659 –> [00:19:37],950
yeah absolutely the business is your
space to thrive so the website is www .

262
[00:19:37],950 –> [00:19:40],679
your space to thrive . com

263
[00:19:40],679 –> [00:19:47],249
i am also on facebook so please like me
on facebook what I’ve done is a monthly

264
[00:19:47],249 –> [00:19:52],80
on facebook i have campaigns that are
running at a certain time so if you kind

265
[00:19:52],80 –> [00:19:55],529
of go through your feet or you can
actually go to the your space to thrive

266
[00:19:55],529 –> [00:19:59],970
facebook page i have a lot of articles
that are posted on their about

267
[00:19:59],970 –> [00:20:05],789
particular topics so back in june i have
articles about fathers day I’ve had the

268
[00:20:05],789 –> [00:20:10],289
whole month of june as a relationship
you know cuz June is the month of love

269
[00:20:10],289 –> [00:20:13],799
so I have articles about how to
strengthen your relationships you know

270
[00:20:13],799 –> [00:20:18],389
from some of the top experts like dr.
sue johnson and dr. John Gottman again

271
[00:20:18],389 –> [00:20:23],609
people who look at building and creating
not necessarily looking at the past so

272
[00:20:23],609 –> [00:20:27],449
you know there’s a lot of value within
that I’m on linked in

273
[00:20:27],450 –> [00:20:32],700
and on twitter as well the linkedin site
is under me sterling in fulton so you

274
[00:20:32],700 –> [00:20:36],269
can get to know a little bit about my
background and what I bring into the

275
[00:20:36],269 –> [00:20:40],559
process through that so yes so please
come visit my website have a free gift

276
[00:20:40],559 –> [00:20:45],480
that I offered through my website and
it’s an e-book called three secrets to

277
[00:20:45],480 –> [00:20:50],519
helping you thrive in the life of your
dreams you know access that and and get

278
[00:20:50],519 –> [00:20:55],49
that free book along with it comes like
discussion cards and the conversation

279
[00:20:55],49 –> [00:21:00],90
starter cards which our discussion cards
as well as a weekly emails that you

280
[00:21:00],90 –> [00:21:03],629
receive about inspirational positive and
positive thoughts

281
[00:21:04],230 –> [00:21:09],179
so you know I like giving away a lot of
value to people and because i think it’s

282
[00:21:09],179 –> [00:21:14],70
just love sharing hoping your listeners
will do that and get a lot from it i

283
[00:21:14],70 –> [00:21:15],269
hope so too

284
[00:21:15],269 –> [00:21:18],120
well thank you so much for coming on the
show starring I really appreciate it

285
[00:21:18],120 –> [00:21:22],590
thank you for having me thank you for
having me i just love the idea of

286
[00:21:22],590 –> [00:21:28],620
helping people to see their dreams and
inspiring people to you know kind of

287
[00:21:28],620 –> [00:21:33],779
just go for it you know building their
life from the inside out and not the

288
[00:21:33],779 –> [00:21:36],809
outside it’s not easy but somebody’s got
to do it

289
[00:21:37],679 –> [00:21:42],750
take care thank you thank you for
joining us for this episode of the

290
[00:21:42],750 –> [00:21:44],890
dreamers podcast

291
[00:21:44],890 –> [00:21:50],770
follow us on twitter and dreamers
podcast join us on facebook at

292
[00:21:50],770 –> [00:21:53],800
facebook.com slash dreamers podcast

293
[00:21:54],710 –> [00:21:58],880
if you or someone you know would like to
be a guest on the dreamers podcast

294
[00:21:58],880 –> [00:22:06],919
please send an email to j and j parr .
co this podcast is copyright 2014 by j

295
[00:22:06],919 –> [00:22:09],919
parr . comb

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[00:22:11],49 –> [00:22:18],879
yeah

Super Joe Pardo
Super Joe Pardo
A sixth-generation award-winning business coach who works with owners to help them build their business for their lifestyle. Click here to learn more about my story!

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